I was traveling recently and I had some time on the plane to watch some movies. I always enjoy watching movies on the plane because I can watch movies that I don’t have access to when at home. I often choose International movies as I like to watch the ones in different languages.
I stumbled upon Butterfly In A Blizzard (which is not specifically an international movie) and I have been recommending it to all of my mommy friends!
I had zero expectations as I had never heard of it. I didn’t realize it was a documentary. And I had never heard of Kimmy Fasani as I do not follow winter sports (or any sports for that matter).
The movie was so beautifully done!
The discussion was basically about motherhood.
There were some psychologists and some sociologists who shared some insights along the way.
They talked about how motherhood is not talked about like other developmental periods of our lives.
Adolescence has a name and an essence. You have a feeling of what it means when you hear the word.
But motherhood is not the same.
There was a very interesting quote that made so much sense to me:
Nicole Woodcox Bolden, LCSW who is a perinatal mental health specialist said:
“Our children are our mirrors. If there’s anything you didn’t deal with, you’re gonna have to deal with it eventually with your child.”
Wow, my mind was blown when she said that, because that is so true!
I remember when this happened to me with my daughter. When she was about four year old and some girls started laughing at her for something silly she did at the playground, I was suddenly frozen. That feeling of having been laughed at as a kid came rushing back like a flood and I was there, frozen in time, amidst the laughter of these little girls; unable to save my daughter or to even help her. I was devastated. I realized then that I would have to work through these feelings of not being enough, so I could help her deal with those types of situations.
The movie was fantastic. It worked through not only Fasani’s motherhood woes but was also a megaphone for female athletes who choose to be mothers with little to no support. It covered the isolation that young mothers face when their own mothers are no longer in their lives to provide support. And the hardships that a mother faces when trying to maintain a work and home balance. The grief that a mother has of her former self, no matter how ready she thought she was for the task.
It was a wonderful movie! So many of her struggles resonated so much. I highly recommend this movie to all moms, no matter what period of life life you’re in.
A wonderful thing that Kimmy Fazani has been able to accomplish, even though she herself said she never intended to be the poster child, is reform for female athletes. So they too can take time off from their extreme schedules and raise children.
So where does God fit in? Glad you asked. God created us in His image. For all intents and purposes he is our Father. As parents, we are often faced with so many things. We bring to the table our own upbringing, our own belief systems, our own prejudices, our own baggage. With all that to contend with, it’s difficult to imagine that kids aren’t growing up messed up somehow; as we foist that ancestral baggage onto them and the cycle continues. God, however, is an amazing Father, always. He loves us, unconditionally. Unlike our parents who may have left us, abused us, treated us too harshly, expected too much of us, or downright ignored us, God will never fail us, EVER. Our heavenly Father is good, all the time. James 1:17 says for every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. Matthew 7:11 says If you then, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.
Our Heavenly Father is love, He is our refuge, our strength, our sure foundation. (Psalm 46 and Isaiah 33:6). He will never fail us (Lamentations 3:22).
God will never go back on a promise or an oath. When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore on Himself (Hebrew 6:13).
God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19).
God is the ultimate good parent and he wants a relationship with each and every one of us. No matter what we’ve done. He loves every single one of us, he does not play favorites (Romans 2:11). Isn’t that beautiful?