Life can be so fickle. One minute you’re just living your life and literally within a second, you can make the biggest mistake of your life which can result in a number of catastrophes.
From a poor driving choice where you might end up killing someone to some choice words that you may not have meant at the time that caused the end of a relationship that you can’t take back.
Any one little thing. It just takes one second.
What’s worse though is if someone has wronged you.
Do you carry unforgiveness for someone or for yourself?
There’s a wonderful movie that one of my favorite actresses, Florence Pugh, starred in called A Good Person. In an instant, there is a harrowing event that she cannot return from which turns her life upside-down. Without giving it away, the movie is about how she spends the next few years just self destructing because she cannot forgive herself.
Let’s talk about forgiveness. People think that forgiveness is about the person that you’re forgiving, but it’s not. Forgiveness is for yourself. It’s so that you can move on with your life. So that you can let go of whatever the burden is and be set free.
Jesus Christ died on the Cross to forgive us all our sins, all of them! Any that we may have made in the past, any that we will make in the future and any that we may be making right now. ANY. No matter what you’ve done.
God sent his one and only Son into the world to suffer and take on all our sins. All of them!
Every single mistake that we’ve ever made or that we will make. He took that burden upon himself and died on the Cross for us.
Accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is a way of accepting His hope for us. John 3:16 says For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son so that anyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.
Essentially, when you accept Jesus, you are accepting his free gift of eternal life AND you are giving him your burdens.
The Lord’s prayer says forgive us our debts as as we forgive our debtors.
Forgiveness is simply admitting that an offense has been committed!
We cannot have freedom until we admit the struggle.
Reverend Joanne Moody says in one of her books:
Forgiveness through Jesus Christ removes the power of the painful memory over your life.
Forgiveness is not about saying that the offense is acceptable.
Forgiveness means we release our offenders from the debt and the punishment we believe they deserve.
Forgiveness acknowledges the debt, AND we actively choose to cancel it.We stop being the judge and we allow God to be the ultimate judge. When we remove ourselves from the judgement seat, that’s when we can truly forgive.
To choose to forgive is not setting our offender free. It is the choice to set ourselves free and trust that God is the one who will judge them instead of ourselves.
We don’t forgive with our emotions. Forgiveness is a decision.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. We forgive with our will.
In Matthew 6:12, Jesus described Forgiveness as the releasing of a debt.
Forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors.
Think of it as a tether between you and your offender. As long as you hang onto to their offense over you, you remain tethered to them, which means you cannot move forward. That hanging on will eventually consume you. Forgiving them gives you the freedom to move forward with your life.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to reconcile with them. It only means that you are removing yourself from the judgement seat over them and handing it over to God who is the ultimate judge.
If you’re ready to forgive someone or yourself, these are the next steps. If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you must do that first. Say this prayer to God in earnest:
Jesus, I believe that You are the Son of God who died on the Cross for my sins, to rescue me from sin and death. I ask your forgiveness and I give myself to you now.
Then, if you’re ready to forgive your debtor, say this prayer to God:
Father, as Your Word says I should forgive my debtors as you forgive me, I choose to forgive ___________________.
I choose to remove myself from the judgement seat against them and ask that You would deal with them as is Your will. I choose to move forward with my life, no longer tethered. In the name of Jesus, I break the tether that has kept me tied to ____________________ and the ________________ against me. ____________________ will no longer hold dominion over me. I thank you that You forgive me and meet me where I am.
To forgive yourself:
In the name of Jesus, I choose to forgive myself for any self condemnation and judgement. I break the tether that has kept me from trusting and loving myself the way You love me. I break the tether of self-deprecation, of perfectionism, of comparison, of insecurity, of __________________. I thank you that You love me unconditionally and I accept the love that you have bestowed on me. I am a new creation in You and I ask that You would make my heart new with this prayer.
Forgiveness is not easy. You may need to say these prayers more than once when you feel the unforgiveness rise up in you. And that’s okay. In the meantime, I recommend that you read the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:21-35.
When you feel the burden of unforgiveness leave you and feel the freedom in your spirit, give thanks to God for what He has done for you! Give Him all the glory! Thank Him from the bottom of your heart; sing, dance, scream and be happy for the Lord has set you free!